Jokes! How do blonde braincells die?
Alone.
Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.
Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.
A blonde went in to the hairdresser to get her haircut. She was wearing headphones. When the hairdresser asked her to remove them, she told them she couldn't. The hairdresser told her she would have to take them off in order to get a good haircut and she said, "I can't. The doctor said if I take them off I will die." So the hairdresser proceeded to cut her hair with the headphones on. In the process, she accidentally knocked them off and the lady fell over dead. They were startled and couldn't figure out why that would have happened. They picked up the headphones to listen and heard a voice saying, "Breathe in-breathe out, breathe in-breathe out..."
Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks.
The first blonde said "These look like deer tracks," and the other one said, "No, they look like moose tracks." They argued and argued for a while and they were still arguing when the train hit them.
What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean?
An air-pocket How do you get a blonde to marry you?
Ask her to marry you!
What does she say?
Is it mine? What do you call a smart blonde?
A brunette who coloured her hair! She was so blonde....
....she spent 20 minutes staring at the orange juice because it said, 'concentrate'.
....she put lip-stick on her head because she was trying to make up her mind.
....she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
....she sent a fax with a stamp on.
....she tripped over a chordless phone.
....if she spoke her mind she'd probably be speechless.
3 guys get to a river, need to cross it, but can't figure out how. A genie comes along and grants them a wish each. The first guy says, 'make me strong enough to cross the river'. The genie gives him big muscles and he swims accross. The secong guy wishes to 'be able to cross the river'. The genie gives him a boat and he rows accross. The third man says, 'make me smart enough to cross the river'. The genie turns him into a woman and she takes the bridge! Whats the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute??
A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again!
What is the difference between a battery and a man?
A battery has a positive side! What do you call 3 dogs and a blackbird?
The Spice Girls! Whats the similarity between getting a blow job from an 80 year old and walking the tight-rope?
In both cases you really don't want to look down! What do you call a Serbian prostitute?
Slobberdown Mycockyoubitch! How do we know God isn't a woman?
Cos if he was sperm would taste like chocolate! Why do guys masturbate?
Its sex with someone they love!
|
